The next morning, Tane set off for the forest.
Sevjo stopped at the sight of the trees. He thought: Why does he want to go into the forest? He knows I’m following, so in the forest he can chase me back? He can kill me there if he wants to. Suddenly the dark forest seemed a barrier of trees melted into a continental blockage.
It took Sevjo courage and hope on the positive side to follow Tane into the forest. Once in it, Sevjo felt hard to breathe. He lost sight of Tane who seemed dissolved into the complicating trunks and deep foliage. Sevjo found himself lost. He could retreat, but then he would lose Tane, maybe forever. They had just met for so short a time. Would Sevjo want to leave his would-be angel in this dark woody...then he recalled what the name Tane originated. Yes, he was the god of trees. He shall revive in the woods by probing into this mid-summer night dreamland. He gains spirit. But can I?
Sevjo went out of the forest, wandering outside. He didn’t know which was the right direction. He hopelessly pondered. Once in a while he went inside the woods again, then out. Tane was nowhere to be traced.
2008年11月16日 星期日
2008年11月9日 星期日
Laurasia and Gondwanaland
9/11
Why did he pretend not knowing I’m the person that was following him?
Then Sevjo was aware of this consciousness. Haunted, by so clearly of what he is doing. Conscious of consciousness. Observing myself in the end, to the end, without an end...
When Sevjo finally got up, he could only manage to track a weak signal of Tane. He tried hard to get closer to him despite feeling hungry.
I interrupted. Why do you write all these? Is it related to me?
My future me replied, ‘Yes, but not now. We’ll meet them in the end of this century.’
What? The end of the century? That’s still a long way to go.
‘Believe me. You aren’t dead yet by then.’
Sevjo found the place Tane spent the night. He wanted to check in, but had not. He left himself some hope by looking upwards from outside the motel to those rooms with or without light. It created hope. He wanted himself to bear a thread of hope.
In his room Tane was reading a book on Laurasia. In it he noticed Gondwanaland as well. The north and south. Why it is two, instead of three? Tane thought. What if some people, or aliens, bear the mentality of the three, the trinity, the trio, to view the magnetic field, would they still regard the the world as two?
Why did he pretend not knowing I’m the person that was following him?
Then Sevjo was aware of this consciousness. Haunted, by so clearly of what he is doing. Conscious of consciousness. Observing myself in the end, to the end, without an end...
When Sevjo finally got up, he could only manage to track a weak signal of Tane. He tried hard to get closer to him despite feeling hungry.
I interrupted. Why do you write all these? Is it related to me?
My future me replied, ‘Yes, but not now. We’ll meet them in the end of this century.’
What? The end of the century? That’s still a long way to go.
‘Believe me. You aren’t dead yet by then.’
Sevjo found the place Tane spent the night. He wanted to check in, but had not. He left himself some hope by looking upwards from outside the motel to those rooms with or without light. It created hope. He wanted himself to bear a thread of hope.
In his room Tane was reading a book on Laurasia. In it he noticed Gondwanaland as well. The north and south. Why it is two, instead of three? Tane thought. What if some people, or aliens, bear the mentality of the three, the trinity, the trio, to view the magnetic field, would they still regard the the world as two?
2008年10月31日 星期五
the dire condition of a transitory epoch
A coming vehicle projected a warning sound. Sevjo looked at it, then at Tane who happened to glance at him from some distance away.
He knows I’m following him? Sevjo thought, then stopped walking, and toned his meter which looked like a PDA. On it Tane’s location was fixed. Something on Tane was locked up on the meter.
Sevjo did not want to sit down, fearing he would fall asleep and never wake up again. He stood again. Tane was coming towards him. Sevjo sat down.
‘Hi.’ Tane said to Sevjo.
Sevjo looked up. When he saw the eyes again, he was speechless. He was reminiscent of the desperation that long plagued this continent, some generations and now himself. Something that remained him of the protest against the dire condition of a transitory epoch.
He closed his eyes and looked down, not daring to look into hope.
‘Do you know where I can get to...’ Tane half knelt to show him a map.
Sevjo looked at the part of map. Once I was there. He wanted to show the direction, but his finger and mouth were hung and freezed.
‘Okay, I’ll find my way. Sorry to have disturbed you.’ Tane stood up and walked on.
He knows I’m following him? Sevjo thought, then stopped walking, and toned his meter which looked like a PDA. On it Tane’s location was fixed. Something on Tane was locked up on the meter.
Sevjo did not want to sit down, fearing he would fall asleep and never wake up again. He stood again. Tane was coming towards him. Sevjo sat down.
‘Hi.’ Tane said to Sevjo.
Sevjo looked up. When he saw the eyes again, he was speechless. He was reminiscent of the desperation that long plagued this continent, some generations and now himself. Something that remained him of the protest against the dire condition of a transitory epoch.
He closed his eyes and looked down, not daring to look into hope.
‘Do you know where I can get to...’ Tane half knelt to show him a map.
Sevjo looked at the part of map. Once I was there. He wanted to show the direction, but his finger and mouth were hung and freezed.
‘Okay, I’ll find my way. Sorry to have disturbed you.’ Tane stood up and walked on.
2008年10月23日 星期四
in the vast mediocracy of everyday life, Sevjo noticed Tane
Tane met many people. Some he still remembered, some forgot. There was one person who fell in the forget realm. His name is Sevjo. He saw Tane as people coming from another continent. In the vast mediocracy of everyday life, he noticed him.
Sevjo took out something square, browsed the Web and found the meaning of ‘Tane’. It is not a brand name. He thought. Who would wear one’s name on the clothing?
Then they caught sight of each other. Just by that glimpse Sevjo was moved. He thought he had found something uncommon. Not a city dweller. Not a flesh dweller. In a while he stood up, following the pace of Tane, in fear of losing the trace of a would-be angel.
Sevjo recorded his own move, his direction and Tane’s, starting a unique journey. Then he knew Tane was wandering. He thought: how long have I not wandered any more? I lose myself in this city junkle. I hate it but I am hopeless, not even walking, just sit there and watch the summon of lethal accident that thrown upon me or nearby, so that the decision to suicide is not up to me. But why am I attracted to this... wandering entity? I fall in love with him? No, it can’t possibly be. I am not in love with anyone, anything, at anytime anymore. What is my hope? To kill him, to help him? Am I still thinking myself an angel, like him, who would help?
Sevjo took out something square, browsed the Web and found the meaning of ‘Tane’. It is not a brand name. He thought. Who would wear one’s name on the clothing?
Then they caught sight of each other. Just by that glimpse Sevjo was moved. He thought he had found something uncommon. Not a city dweller. Not a flesh dweller. In a while he stood up, following the pace of Tane, in fear of losing the trace of a would-be angel.
Sevjo recorded his own move, his direction and Tane’s, starting a unique journey. Then he knew Tane was wandering. He thought: how long have I not wandered any more? I lose myself in this city junkle. I hate it but I am hopeless, not even walking, just sit there and watch the summon of lethal accident that thrown upon me or nearby, so that the decision to suicide is not up to me. But why am I attracted to this... wandering entity? I fall in love with him? No, it can’t possibly be. I am not in love with anyone, anything, at anytime anymore. What is my hope? To kill him, to help him? Am I still thinking myself an angel, like him, who would help?
2008年10月15日 星期三
writing about the future Tane
Well, you can tell me about those future things and I can write...for you.
‘I can’t tell you everything.’
Do you know where is Tane?
‘I know. I would write it out. Then you’ll know.’
Can’t you tell me now?
‘I’m not your private prophet.’
How can I know you’re are creating something out?
‘You can check it out. But then it costs you efforts and lots of time. Do you really need to know where a person is? As long as you know he/she is alive and well, there’s no need to ask more or know more.’
I grew speechless.
X X X X X
‘This is the future me, the future version of Gt, writing.’
Tane met his father in England, only to know his mother died earlier. He felt sad and could not bear to stay in her house. He left for home. Then he recalled Gt telling him Cancer is at times a wanderer, so he started to do so. Just one try and he believed in it.
He wandered in the old Western legacy as a foreigner. Tane did not mind his father or others blaming him for wandering around, from his mother’s homeland to elsewhere. He did not mind losing contact with his friends or Gt or CoDa.
There have been so many souls wandering and drifting on this piece of continent ever since human history, what am I to resist if I am already here? He thought. Gt would know.
Dual identity saying: I know, but 21st century Gt doesn’t, not in the beginning. Until now.
‘I can’t tell you everything.’
Do you know where is Tane?
‘I know. I would write it out. Then you’ll know.’
Can’t you tell me now?
‘I’m not your private prophet.’
How can I know you’re are creating something out?
‘You can check it out. But then it costs you efforts and lots of time. Do you really need to know where a person is? As long as you know he/she is alive and well, there’s no need to ask more or know more.’
I grew speechless.
X X X X X
‘This is the future me, the future version of Gt, writing.’
Tane met his father in England, only to know his mother died earlier. He felt sad and could not bear to stay in her house. He left for home. Then he recalled Gt telling him Cancer is at times a wanderer, so he started to do so. Just one try and he believed in it.
He wandered in the old Western legacy as a foreigner. Tane did not mind his father or others blaming him for wandering around, from his mother’s homeland to elsewhere. He did not mind losing contact with his friends or Gt or CoDa.
There have been so many souls wandering and drifting on this piece of continent ever since human history, what am I to resist if I am already here? He thought. Gt would know.
Dual identity saying: I know, but 21st century Gt doesn’t, not in the beginning. Until now.
2008年10月12日 星期日
the future Gt is writing about the present Gt
X X X X X
How can I switch to the future me to write?
It is a result of a conversation between me and the future me, alias ex- /internal
mono- /dialogue. I requested the talking be recorded as physical evidence of I wasn’t talking to myself, and the future me agreed. But then it was me who finally decided not to record and show it to others. If people define this as monologue, so be it. Maybe it would be easier for them.
I ask: how can you replace me as the present me in writing ?
‘If I can talk to you in this way, why not? The important thing is whether you believe I’m the future you, or, whether I believe you’re the historical me.’
Seemed puzzled. If you’re real, what you write about is real, does it pose any threat to anyone in this world?
‘Shouldn’t be. As I know something about the past, I try to avoid bad consequences. But then it may change something.’
Like what?
‘Your consciousness, in the first place. I am seeking to synchronize with you across time and space. You would know something about the near future, but you’re not allowed to change it, otherwise it may cause damage to others and yourself. And I’ll try my best to stop you and constrain your efforts.’
Why should I let you write for me?
‘Because you decide it.’
What if I don’t approve.
‘I won’t do it. But since you’re me, I know something about you, and I believe you would decide to let me write for you.’
How can I switch to the future me to write?
It is a result of a conversation between me and the future me, alias ex- /internal
mono- /dialogue. I requested the talking be recorded as physical evidence of I wasn’t talking to myself, and the future me agreed. But then it was me who finally decided not to record and show it to others. If people define this as monologue, so be it. Maybe it would be easier for them.
I ask: how can you replace me as the present me in writing ?
‘If I can talk to you in this way, why not? The important thing is whether you believe I’m the future you, or, whether I believe you’re the historical me.’
Seemed puzzled. If you’re real, what you write about is real, does it pose any threat to anyone in this world?
‘Shouldn’t be. As I know something about the past, I try to avoid bad consequences. But then it may change something.’
Like what?
‘Your consciousness, in the first place. I am seeking to synchronize with you across time and space. You would know something about the near future, but you’re not allowed to change it, otherwise it may cause damage to others and yourself. And I’ll try my best to stop you and constrain your efforts.’
Why should I let you write for me?
‘Because you decide it.’
What if I don’t approve.
‘I won’t do it. But since you’re me, I know something about you, and I believe you would decide to let me write for you.’
2008年10月9日 星期四
CoDa, Tane, and me
I turned round and saw Tane outside the window glass. He came in, holding three cups, smiling to meet us.
‘Long time no see.’ I smiled, ‘You look grown up a bit.’
He handed us each a cup of coffee. ‘Yeah... My father went to Europe. I joined him later, then back in a month’s time.’
‘Good.’ I said, taking a sip. The coffee smelt good.
Tane looked around, caught sight of a larger drawing up high on the wall.
‘That’s a new one.’ CoDa said in a coffee-warmed tone.
‘Do you need another disc?’ He asked.
‘Cool. Why not. Maybe it works again.’
‘How’s your school?’ I asked Tane.
‘I finish all the course works earlier. In the coming school year I’ll jump up two levels.’
‘Bravo.’ CoDa seemed to say it for me.
Tane asked, ‘I read your book. The part on the future you, is it true?’
‘Don’t believe what a fiction writer says.’
‘A writer like him, even so.’ CoDa said.
We both smiled at her. She looked at us, with a strange look on her face.
I asked, ‘What?’
‘...Hard to say. You two looked alike, in the line.’
We talked for a short while at that time. I thought I can leave something to talk with Tane afterwards, so I had not talked much. But after Tane left for Europe, he seemed disappeared. Only a few emails in the beginning, then lost. I guessed he was in Europe, somewhere. I thought we could talk again, but no. I had lost his contact.
‘Long time no see.’ I smiled, ‘You look grown up a bit.’
He handed us each a cup of coffee. ‘Yeah... My father went to Europe. I joined him later, then back in a month’s time.’
‘Good.’ I said, taking a sip. The coffee smelt good.
Tane looked around, caught sight of a larger drawing up high on the wall.
‘That’s a new one.’ CoDa said in a coffee-warmed tone.
‘Do you need another disc?’ He asked.
‘Cool. Why not. Maybe it works again.’
‘How’s your school?’ I asked Tane.
‘I finish all the course works earlier. In the coming school year I’ll jump up two levels.’
‘Bravo.’ CoDa seemed to say it for me.
Tane asked, ‘I read your book. The part on the future you, is it true?’
‘Don’t believe what a fiction writer says.’
‘A writer like him, even so.’ CoDa said.
We both smiled at her. She looked at us, with a strange look on her face.
I asked, ‘What?’
‘...Hard to say. You two looked alike, in the line.’
We talked for a short while at that time. I thought I can leave something to talk with Tane afterwards, so I had not talked much. But after Tane left for Europe, he seemed disappeared. Only a few emails in the beginning, then lost. I guessed he was in Europe, somewhere. I thought we could talk again, but no. I had lost his contact.
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